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Urusei Yatsura
volume 26


Originally Published in:
Shonen Sunday 1985 Vol. 9 - 19
Published in English as:
Unpublished

Chapter 268: 節分危機一髪
Setsubun kiki hito-mame
(The Setsubun Bean Crisis)
Benten prepares for her annual Setsubun battle against Lum by buying a crate of beans to shoot at her from The Bean Stand. Unfortunately the salesman doesn't realize until too late that he has sold her Slapping Beans, which are deadly if injested. He heads out on his bike to retrieve the beans from Benten and the other customers he has accidently sold them too. Meanwhile on Earth Benten invades Tomobiki High and starts spraying beans everywhere. The Principal encourages everyone to participate in Setsubun by collecting as many beans as you are years old and eating them, which everyone grudgingly does, while Onsen-Mark supervises. While all this is happening Mr. Fujinami is forcing Ryunosuke to help him pick up the beans laying on the floor so they can resell them for a profit. Finally the salesman arrives and tells everyone not to eat the beans, that they will germinate inside them, grow to enormous size and then rip their bodies apart. A giant beanstalk does just that ripping the school building apart, but it turns out none of the students actually ate the beans they were told to pick up off the floor, they merely pretended to so Onsen-Mark would leave them alone.

Chapter 269: 決闘!女VS女;前編
Ketto! onna VS. onna; zenpen
(Fight! Woman vs Woman! Part 1)
While driving Lum to school, Benten sees Ryunosuke flying towards her after being knocked out the window by Mr. Fujinami, she catches Ryunosuke and tosses her back into her house, while continuing on to school. When she arrives at Tomobiki, she plays with Ten until she sees how agile Ryunosuke is at dodging the beans she was shooting. Ryunosuke on the other hand, cannot understand why Benten doesn't act more girlish. Ryunosuke makes this suggestion to Benten, who, with the help of Mr. Fujinami, misinterprets it as some round-about way of saying Ryunosuke is in love with Benten. Of course Benten believes Ryunosuke is a pretty hunky guy, even though Lum attempts to set things right. When a trip to the bathhouse proves to Benten that this nice guy is actually a girl, things start to get really heated as they prepare for a showdown in the street.

Chapter 270: 決闘!女VS女;中編
Ketto! onna VS. onna; chuhen
(Fight! Woman vs Woman! Part 2)
Just as Benten and Ryunosuke are about to throw down, Ataru jumps in the middle and tries to settle things. He explains that fighting is no way for the two to prove who is the more feminine, but a slip of the tongue shows that he was actually spying on them while they were bathing. After getting his plan shot down, Ataru enlists the help of Onsen-Mark who disguises himself and asks Benten on a date while she practices walking more like a lady. Benten flies off the handle and beats up Onsen, and Ataru decides that another competition is in order. This time he decides to use the womanly art of flower arranging to test their skills, but Benten has never even heard of a flower let alone arranged one. The Principal even tries to formulate a plan, while Sakura uses hypnotism to try and bring out the motherly qualities in Benten and Ryunosuke. Unfortunately things go awry when Ataru pretends to be their baby, and Ryunosuke's parenting instincts are very similar to her father's. With that test also a bust, the Principal arrives with his script in hand, and he hopes his little play will help bring out the woman in Ryunosuke and Benten.

Chapter 271: 決闘!女VS女;後編
Ketto! onna VS onna; kouhen
(Fight! Woman vs Woman! Part 3)
The Principal casts Ryunosuke and Benten in his play about wifely behavior, and makes them perform it in front of the entire school. They are both told to ad-lib their lines to Onsen-Mark, who plays the jealous husband. When the husband asks his wives where they've been all day, they beat him with a table. Ataru plays a rice dealer who Onsen-Mark suspects is having an affair with his wives. Ataru goes off book and starts saying that he has, in fact, been having an affair, which causes more problems. Benten and Ryunosuke agree to "divorce" Onsen-Mark, and exit the stage, but are caught in a large net. Act Two of the play has the two wives tied up in a mountain village where Mendo stands guard over them. Unfortunately, the rice dealer Ataru breaks in to save them. Soon they are attacked by a pack of wild dogs, played by other Tomobiki High students, after seeing all this, the female students are enraged and rush the stage and an all out battle ensues. Benten and Ryunosuke decide to team up to fight all the boys and thrash them soundly. With that, the two girls agree that through fisticuffs they have both proven their femininity.

Chapter 272: 大ビン小ビン
Obin kobin
(Big Bottle/Small Bottle)
While in the 4th Dimensional Forest one night Ten buys a bottle that is able to store anything regardless of size. He brings it home and uncorks it in front of Lum, causing her to shrink and be sucked inside. Lum shatters the jar and then shows Ten the instructions that clearly state not to point the jar at anyone. When Ataru sees her, Lum decides to use this to her advantage and tells him she has a shrinking disease and only his love can cure it. Ataru seems skeptical, but as he sleeps at night he is very careful not to roll over on the tiny Lum sleeping on his pillow. The next day Ataru sees Lum talking to Kotatsuneko and telling him not to worry about her. He overhears he saying that Ten has gone to get a bottle to restore her to her normal size. Upon hearing this Ataru locks Lum in a birdcage and goes off to chase girls. In the 4th Dimension, Ten finds a turtle who tells him the scarecrow that made the bottles is throwing them all away, so he'd better hurry if he wants one. Ten flies back to Earth and tells Ataru to get Lum while he gets his scooter. When Ataru goes home, he finds the birdcage has been ripped open by Torajima who tried to attack Lum. Lum handled the cat, but now she believes Ataru is trying to lock her up again and she won't go with him. Ataru grabs Lum and Ten wisks them off to the 4th Dimension on his scooter. The scarecrow is about to break the final big bottle that will return Lum to her size, and Ataru pitches her into it at the last second, restoring her to her normal size.

Chapter 273: 風邪見舞い
Kaze mimai
(Visiting a Sick Friend)
Ran has caught an Earth cold and is feeling under the weather. As she lies in bed recooperating, she remembers how Lum used to visit her when she was sick as a child. Lum always caused things to get worse with her exploding toys or poisonous flowers that she would bring for Ran. Ran goes back and forth about whether she wants Lum to come and visit her or not, and decides to give her a call and let her know she's sick. Lum says she will come over first thing after school, but then Ran tries to make her change her mind. Lum comes anyway, and things go as usual. Ran winds up cooking for herself, and trying to survive Lum's explosive robot doctor, but she realizes in the end that all of Lum's mistakes have always been unintentional.

Chapter 274: あやかしの面堂
Ayakashi no Mendo
(Mendo's Secret)
One evening Mendo has his guards call roll for his pet octopus, and all of them answer with the exception of Akamaru. Mendo is upset about Akamaru's disappearance, and that night he has a terrifying dream of tentacles trying to grab his face and he hears a voice telling him "it's cramped and dark, and painful". Mendo realizes it's a message from Akamaru. The following week, Ataru, Shinobu, Lum and Ten come to visit Mendo who hasn't been to school since the incident. He refuses to see them, but they make their way into the dark room where Mendo is sitting. He reveals his secret to them, he has an octopus painted with a flower pattern sitting on his head. He explains that when he awoke after his dream his head felt heavy and Ryoko painted the invisible object to reveal Akamaru's spirit. Mendo believes Akamaru died in a dark, confined space and has sent his guards to find his body and give it proper burial so that his spirit can rest in peace. Sakura and Cherry soon arrive, but they seem unable to help. After Ataru insults Mendo yet again, Mendo tries to slash him, but Ataru blocks with Mendo's pillow. Feathers fly everywhere and Akamaru the missing octopus falls out unconscious. Ataru wakes him and the spirit disappears from Mendo's head. It turns out he was psychically telling Mendo he was in pain in a dark, cramped space each night because Mendo was laying on him.

Chapter 275: 妄想フーセンガム
Moso fusen-gamu

(Fantasy Balloon Gum)
Ten and Kotatsuneko are sitting in a vacant lot chewing some Fantastical Bubble Gum. When you blow a bubble whatever you want most will appear inside, and once the bubble pops, you'll have what you wished for. Ataru sees Ten make a rocket ship and Kotatsuneko make, of course, a kotatsu. Ataru steals the gum and uses it to make Oyuki and Benten. Unfortunately the fake Oyuki and fake Benten seem to be more in love with each other than Ataru. When Lum comes to chastise him, he makes a copy of himself and then escapes. When Mendo tries to slice Ataru in the hallway he uses the gum to create a lightsaber and makes short work of his katana. Lum decides to lure Ataru into a trap by creating ultra-sexy versions of Sakura, Shinobu, and Ryunosuke. Ataru meanwhile is hiding out on the roof with only one stick of gum remaining. He gives it everything he's got and creates copies of all the girls he knows, but when the bubble pops he's stuck to the roof.

Chapter 276: 宇宙からの侵略者
Uchu kara no shinryaku-sha
(Space Invader)
A strange half-man half-dog alien comes to Earth intent on conquring it for his race. He boasts that he will be able to do it single handedly after brainwashing the entire planet. He decides to start at Tomobiki, and finds Ataru running away from Lum on the way to school. The alien captain zaps Ataru and disguises himself as Ataru. Once at school he attempts to brainwash everyone, which involves kissing them on the lips. Of course with Ataru's reputation for perversity, all the girls get upset and sic Mendo on him. The alien doesn't understand how everyone seems to be seeing through his disguise, so he kisses Mendo which enrages him. Finally the real Ataru wakes up and arrives at school, shocked to see that everyone is angry with him. On the roof the alien is about to kiss Lum, but she realizes it can't be Ataru when he actually tries to kiss her back. She fries the alien imposter sending him back to his mothership and saying Earth from invasion.

Chapter 277: 愛の使者どすえ
Kyupiddo [ai no shisha] dosue
(Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow)
Lum is looking for a romantic plant to purchase while visiting an outspace arboritum. The robot salesperson offers her Cupid seedlings from the planet Eros. When the plant matures a small Cupid will grow from it. Whomever the cupid hits with an arrow will immediately fall in love. Lum sends the little cherub down to Earth to find Ataru, who is out hunting for girls. Ataru dodges all of the tiny arrows, but men all over the neighborhood are falling for Lum as the arrows strike them. Ataru captures Cupid and then comes across Ryunosuke and Mr. Fujinami. When Ataru commands the Cupid to fire, he accidently believe Ataru is telling him to shoot Mr. Fujinami. Mr. Fujinami falls for Ataru and chases him away. Ataru continues to dodge the arrows until the Cupid collapses and dies, explaining that it's lifespan is only one day. Ataru and Lum bury him in the backyard and soon afterwards another Cupid Plant has sprouted.

Chapter 278: お祓三すくみ
O-harai mi sukumi
(Exorcism Three-Way)
Early one morning Sakura is awakened to exorcise a sake brewing barrel. The barrel had been drinking all the sake, and Sakura points out that it seems to be inhabited by a sake spirit. She easily exorcises the ghost, but it jumps down her throat. On the way to school Ataru and Lum notice as she downs a can of sake. She explains to them that she has become possessed by a sake spirit and it is causing her to drink like a mad-woman. At school Ataru keeps offering her alcohol in hopes of making her shed her inhibitions. Soon Onsen-Mark comes in looking for treatment for being severely hung-over. Before long Cherry comes to pay a visit, but by this time Sakura has had so much to drink that he spirit takes her over completely, and she summons a snake demon to fight everyone off. Cherry has no choice but to summon a slug and frog demon, which results in Sakura. Unfortunately though it leaves everyone standing dead-center in the middle of a three way spiritual standoff between the a giant frog, snake, and slug.

summaries by Harley Acres


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